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Disclaimer: Language. And some WTF.
There's this old Filipino cultural belief about status that brings a whole new level of complication to the seemingly simple social necessity that is eye contact. I grew up with parents who had a weird set of semi-modified rules that incorporated North American beliefs and Filipino beliefs.
Which sort of messed me up because I'm a North American.
So here I am, trying to rework my beliefs. It's pretty shit because sometimes I'll get weird looks and I won't even know what I'm doing wrong. Like, don't get me wrong. I am most definitely not blaming my parents for this. I guess that's just how it goes for first generation kids.
An example of me encountering this was when I was in preschool and all the kids, maybe about 20 of us, were eating soup at a round table. I finished up my soup by lifting it and drinking it out of the bowl directly, without the spoon. Next thing I knew, after I put down the bowl, every single fucking kid at that table was laughing at me. I didn't get it. I still don't get it. Like, drinking out of the bowl is faster than using your skinny-ass spoon, which only means I'mma beat you to the sandbox. Also, its preschool. I'm not dining with Obama. In preschool, people eat their boogers and forget to wipe their asses. Oh. What.
My original direction with this is that I'm mostly confused right now by the look people give you when they initially look at you. Actually no, not the first look, but the ones afterward.
Example: You're on the bus and its kind of just customary curiosity to look at the people riding with you, just in case one is a friend, or I dunno, a famous person like Rick Mercer or Beethoven or some shit.
You sit down, people look at you too. Sure, okay, cool. But its when people look back at you a couple more times during the bus ride that things start to trip me out. Why are you looking at me? Is there something wrong with my face? Do I smell really bad and you just happen to be memorizing my face so you know not to sit next to me for the next bus ride we see each other? Do you really want to talk to me? In that case, who's supposed to speak first?
I did that once. There was this hipster boy sitting next to me, with his beard, Gerber-baby blond hair and straw-woven fedora. And he kept looking at me. Over a 20 minute bus ride, at least four or five side-ward glances. For the last one, sort of curious on my part on what he wanted, I caught his glance and looked him straight in the eye and smiled, and he turned away awkwardly.
My question is-- what do I do with that? :S Was I even responsible to do anything? JUST TELL ME. I swear I'm not going to burn your straw hat.
Anyways, I'd love to hear some feedback or stories of mutual confusion! Drop me a comment, text me if you know me, email me if you know me, Facebook me if you know me, or do all of that even if you don't know me LOL.
Awkward kid, signing out from a REALLY WARM BUS STOP WHY AM I WEARING A SWEATER AND A SCARF LOL RAGE
- Jen ♥
There's this old Filipino cultural belief about status that brings a whole new level of complication to the seemingly simple social necessity that is eye contact. I grew up with parents who had a weird set of semi-modified rules that incorporated North American beliefs and Filipino beliefs.Which sort of messed me up because I'm a North American.
So here I am, trying to rework my beliefs. It's pretty shit because sometimes I'll get weird looks and I won't even know what I'm doing wrong. Like, don't get me wrong. I am most definitely not blaming my parents for this. I guess that's just how it goes for first generation kids.
An example of me encountering this was when I was in preschool and all the kids, maybe about 20 of us, were eating soup at a round table. I finished up my soup by lifting it and drinking it out of the bowl directly, without the spoon. Next thing I knew, after I put down the bowl, every single fucking kid at that table was laughing at me. I didn't get it. I still don't get it. Like, drinking out of the bowl is faster than using your skinny-ass spoon, which only means I'mma beat you to the sandbox. Also, its preschool. I'm not dining with Obama. In preschool, people eat their boogers and forget to wipe their asses. Oh. What.
My original direction with this is that I'm mostly confused right now by the look people give you when they initially look at you. Actually no, not the first look, but the ones afterward.
Example: You're on the bus and its kind of just customary curiosity to look at the people riding with you, just in case one is a friend, or I dunno, a famous person like Rick Mercer or Beethoven or some shit.
You sit down, people look at you too. Sure, okay, cool. But its when people look back at you a couple more times during the bus ride that things start to trip me out. Why are you looking at me? Is there something wrong with my face? Do I smell really bad and you just happen to be memorizing my face so you know not to sit next to me for the next bus ride we see each other? Do you really want to talk to me? In that case, who's supposed to speak first?
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| hipsturrr |
My question is-- what do I do with that? :S Was I even responsible to do anything? JUST TELL ME. I swear I'm not going to burn your straw hat.Anyways, I'd love to hear some feedback or stories of mutual confusion! Drop me a comment, text me if you know me, email me if you know me, Facebook me if you know me, or do all of that even if you don't know me LOL.
Awkward kid, signing out from a REALLY WARM BUS STOP WHY AM I WEARING A SWEATER AND A SCARF LOL RAGE- Jen ♥
