Cupcakes & Carnage

I always knew, on a weird level, that I could be a party-pooper. Once I got called a 'Debbie-downer,' which I thought was intensely accurate, save for the fact that my name isn't Debbie. I've been doing a good (excessive) amount of self-reflection (self-sabotage) lately and I figured that... This really has to stop.


No, seriously, these gifs are basically a re-enactment of my emotions since fall started.

My perspective on things are currently quite grim. On my bad days, I think everything is redundant and doing anything is pointless. On the few good days, I think every ounce of energy put towards something has an awesome, positive outcome. Sadly, most days, it fails to be the latter.

So how am I going to try to curb this habit of doom and gloom? Here are a list of things I'm going to try out:

1. Actually make an effort to get dressed in the morning.
2. Make a REASONABLE to-do list and try my best to complete it!
3. Eat food. 
4. Take reasonable breaks and do reasonable amounts of work to match said breaks.
5. Stop beating myself up about everything.
6. Find time to take care of myself.
7. Read something that isn't a textbook!
8. Make art.
9. Sleep with a consistent amount of hours over a prolonged span of time.
10. Restate the good things that happened to you at the end of the day in a journal so you can see that the world doesn't actually suck as much as you think it does.

On and off for the past 5+ years, I've been trying to do this consistently. Its all just sort of failed because I think I have a very dangerous tendency of trying to take it all on at once. For some reason, even though on a deeper level I understand that most people if all cannot expect to do so well so quickly in changing bad habits about themselves, I keep on thinking that I can do it. But I think it's just obvious that progression is called 'progression' and not 'leaping' for a reason. Need to get that through my head.

SO. This week, I think I'll try the one on reading! I haven't read a book every day for a week since I was very young, I think! Ever since then, if I had done that, it would always be when I was supposed to be doing something else.

More updates later! I would also love to hear of any things you do when you are particularly uninspired to try to get your butt back on the productivity train.

UGH I'M SO EXCITED GUYS. Change can too be exciting. 

Jen!